Four months in: Navigating creative freelance life
“I love this so much!” – “No regrets about quitting whatsoever!” – “The freedom to decide how I want to spend my day is the best thing ever!”
This is what I say about my self-employed life when you ask me on a good day. It was absolutely the right decision to leave a workplace that was detrimental to my mental health. Freelancing was the logical next step for me if I wanted total control over my time and life. But I would be amiss not to mention that there are also bad days, when anxious thoughts take over and the negativity pulls me down. But I am learning to deal with those just as I am learning to do taxes and networking.
I never felt the 'The sky is the limit' saying as much as I do on the good days.
The Good…
On the good days, I see my achievements and can be proud of them. I get motivated by them and I know that more of this is possible. That this is only the start. Those days are certainly in the majority. Between these, all metrics as well as my income trending upward, I am able to trust that I made the right decision.
Often, we don’t take enough pause to celebrate our achievements, but looking back over the last four months, I have to acknowledge that I pulled off quite a bit in a short period of time:
I processed very difficult and often conflicting feelings around quitting a highly prestigious and well-paying job.
I launched a business, which attracted its first clients.
I already published 14 articles and interviews on the Knit Current blog (as compared to 21 in all of 2024).
I created and launched a first digital product, with a second one due to launch in June.
I navigated and learned about the Danish tax system.
I met new people through this endeavour and networked – something that really is not easy for me.
What’s more, I have to recognize that I did all of this on my own. I don’t have a safety net of a partner or family to catch me (financially). Yes, I have my F***-You-Fund, which I am using for this purpose, but again that is something I saved up on my own. And I am doing this in a country where I haven’t fully mastered the language.
“On the good days, I see my achievements and can be proud of them. On the bad days, the negative thoughts spiral down and drag me with them.”
… The Bad…
Of course, there are bad days, too. The days when I am tired or get triggered by someone. Then, the negativity might just spiral down, and drag me with it. The thoughts in my head will sound the alarm bells for a stable income and even a boss to provide direction.
In theory, I know it would help if I went outside, got some exercise and a coffee or pastry. But on the bad days, I can’t get out of my head and into action. The voices in my head say: “Save all the money you can. You don’t know when you'll get some more. You don’t deserve a treat after only two hours of work today. You need to work and produce more.” While on a good day, I would say: “I have budgeted for this. I can afford it. And anyway, the money will come back to me. I deserve a treat.”
Isn’t it funny how our view on the exact same thing changes so dramatically, simply based on how we are feeling? (Sidenote: I also wonder what it means that I think of ‘I’ on good days and ‘you’ on bad days?)
… And The Ugly (In Between)
I write all of this after just having had one of those bad days. Today, on an in-between-day so to speak, I am determined to come up with strategies that will help me snap out of it quicker next time.
The middle is often ugly and messy. And messy feelings is what I am grappling with here. Writing always helps me: Instead of keeping the negative thoughts in my head and letting them run my day, I take them out on paper. It’s cathartic; I am cleansing out the negativity.
Another proven way to get out of my head is to learn something new and be creative instead of plowing through the stockinette section of my current sweater project. I think of my leather bag kit in my crafts cupboard and all of my sewing plans for nice summer dresses and tailored trousers.
I hung up my new list of coffee shops next to my desk. As soon as I have a bad day, I know what to do.
Physical activity helps a great deal when I am stuck in the negativity and the easiest way for me to get mid-level physical activity is cycling. But since this is normally just a means to get from A to B for me, I am tricking myself into having ‘a goal’ by making a list of coffee shops that I’ve been meaning to try.
Lastly, in order to dismantle the argument that I don’t have money for a treat, I implement a treat-yourself-on-bad-days fund. Just by reshuffling my budget a little bit, I am able to allow myself a little something extra.
Writing and reflecting are my superpowers. They help me find both perspective and solutions like these strategies. Looking at them now, I am amazed at how straightforward the answers can be. They feel obvious now, but yesterday I was not able to see any of it.
Freelancing in a creative industry can be tough. But I trust that I have the ability to learn and grow from the difficult days, in order to enjoy the good days and my new-found freedom even more!
“Writing and reflecting are my superpowers. They help me find both perspective and solutions.”